Like a gourmet meal, a great football game is filled with platefuls of deliciousness and can be greatly enhanced when paired with the proper beverage.
This quick guide will help you determine which beer to drink and when to drink it as the Philadelphia Eagles and New England Patriots go to battle on Tremendous Sunday (not sure if we can say Super Sunday?)
First, be sure to have the following varieties of beer available…there’s nothing worse than being sent to the concussion protocol tent because you forgot something. It’s the kind of personal foul that could lead to ejection. You’ll need a full complement of IPAs, Pale Ales, Stouts, Porters, Sours, Bocks and light beers. (Note: Light beers are NOT for drinking…more on this later.)
Pre-game: Your choice. Drink your favorite beers in the cooler. Just remember to pace yourself…6+ hours of pre-game blather; hundreds of commercials interrupted by a few minutes of football; a prolonged half-time show; the post-game interviews (complete with trite sound bites); and, the always emotional trophy presentation awaits.
Kick-off Toast: A 4-ounce pour of a savory Barrel-aged Porter in a brandy snifter will set the tone…plus a toast that goes something like this (paraphrasing Judge Smails):
It’s easy to grin when your team gets in;
They’ve gone through the playoffs, it’s sweet.
But the team worthwhile, Is the team who can smile,
As they, once more, avoid defeat.
The First First Down: Drink a first-beer…reach into the cooler for a beer you have not yet had. Touchdown: Regardless of which team scores…your choice of beers. You’ll either be jubilant or drowning your sorrow.
“Under Further Review”: Sip a Pale Ale…this usually takes a while.
3rd down, short yardage: You want your defense to be Stout. Support them by downing a stout. Hurry, Brady’s going no-huddle.
3rd and long: Sours…It’s going to be a “Pass” and I choose to pass on the sour beers.
4th down (field goals and punts): “Bock that kick.” What else?
Half-time: Food break…relax and enjoy the over-the-top entertainment. (Note: Bonus beers for spotting any wardrobe malfunctions).
Fumbles/Interceptions: Turnovers are disgusting and costly. They are something you don’t want. When a turnover occurs, pour some light beer down the drain also known as the Sink of Misery…swilly swilly.
Post-game: Coffee Porter, of course. Savor your team’s victory or rehash the plays that led to their defeat.
Seriously…enjoy the game and if you’re going to drink alcoholic beverages, drink responsibly. If anyone thinks you shouldn’t be driving, listen to them. Using Lyft or Uber can be the best money you will ever spend (load the app on your phone now if it isn’t there already). Double-up with someone and split the cost…it’s worth it!