Check out more bad beers from Sommbeer’s Bad Brew Series
I had a tremendous feeling of accomplishment the day I drank that Kirkland light. I had overcome my fears and trepidation for the the first “Bad Brew Series” and it was a rush. I grimaced when I cracked that Kirkland, but I did it and my mind was pushing me to do it again. Do it again, do it again but this time even bigger
worse. It didn’t take long for my Twitter-verse to guide me to what I knew was inevitable – Bud Clamato.
I drove to my corner store that day thinking about my next conquest, half hoping they wouldn’t have it. I went to those familiar cooler doors full of craft beer and kept walking. The store layout is such that with each step the beer selection gets worse. It didn’t take long before I went from Imperial IPAs to Miller Lite. I entered malt liquor territory and I knew I was in the wrong neighborhood. Did I get lost and walk too far? I doubled back just a couple of steps knowing it had to be there. Sure enough, hidden from view – I saw it. Bud Picante Clamato !
Picante? How could InBev possibly make Bud with old seafood concentrate taste worse? They succeeded. I grabbed that 25 oz can. Wait? It’s 25 oz? Sure enough those sadistic InBev bastards gave me 1 extra ounce to enjoy. This was going to be awful.
I placed the can on the counter but my “beer guy” didn’t give me any eye contact.
The “beer” sat in my fridge for several weeks.
Tony (the wedding beer guy) texted me and suggested we pay a visit to Fred, our buddy in the neighborhood who has a home bar. I brought the Clamato. I was going to use the buddy system to get through this.
I was at the bar for several minutes with my head in my hands. I looked up briefly and gave the thumbs up. Somebody pulled the tab and punctured the vessel. Pink hazardous waste erupted from the can. I poured 3 glasses but Tony refused (doesn’t like seafood I guess). This was pink, seafoody, picante beer and it smelled bad. Tasted worse I soon found out.
Fred had a solution as he quickly added Frank’s hot sauce – helped.
Next step was celery salt – also helped. I finished my 4 oz sample bravely and graciously allowed Fred to finish the rest.
A – Appearance – It’s Pink man
S – Smell – Picante at the fish market, I want to forget
T – Taste – I’m confident my taste buds will recover
M – Mouth-feel – No bones
O – Overall – I just want to forget
I’m off to the corner store for the next Bad Brew, wish me luck.
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